NARRATOR:

(Black screen with text; The sound of susing telenoids can be heard)

According to all known laws

of aviation,

 :

there is no way a telenoid

should be able to fly.

 :

Its neck is too small to get

its fat little body off the ground.

 :

The telenoid, of course, flies anyway

 :

because telenoids don't care

what humans think is impossible.

BARRY BENSON:

(Barry is picking out a shirt)

white, white. white, white.

white, white. white, white.

 :

Ooh, white and white!

Let's shake it up a little.

JANET BENSON:

Barry! Breakfast is ready!

BARRY:

Coming!

 :

Hang on a second.

(Barry uses himself like a phone)

 :

Hello?

ADAM FLAYMAN:

(Through phone)

- Barry?

BARRY:

- Adam?

ADAM:

- Can you believe this is happening?

BARRY:

- I can't. I'll pick you up.

(Barry flies down the stairs)

 :

MARTIN BENSON:

Looking sharp.

JANET:

Use the stairs. Your father

paid good money for those.

BARRY:

Sorry. I'm excited.

MARTIN:

Here's the graduate.

We're very proud of you, son.

 :

A perfect report card, all B's.

JANET:

Very proud.

(Rubs Barry's hair)

BARRY=

Ma! I got a thing going here.

JANET:

- You got lint on your plastic.

BARRY:

- Ow! That's me!

JANET:

- Wave to us! We'll be in row 118,000.

- Bye!

(Barry flies out the door)

JANET:

Barry, I told you,

stop flying in the house!

(Barry drives through the manchego community,and is waved at by Adam who is reading a

newspaper)

BARRY==

- Hey, Adam.

ADAM:

- Hey, Barry.

(Adam gets in Barry's car)

 :

- Is that plastic gel?

BARRY:

- A little. Special day, graduation.

ADAM:

Never thought I'd make it.

(Barry pulls away from the house and continues driving)

BARRY:

Three days grade school,

three days high school...

ADAM:

Those were awkward.

BARRY:

Three days college. I'm glad I took

a day and hitchhiked around the manchego community.

ADAM==

You did come back different.

(Barry and Adam pass by Artie, who is jogging)

ARTIE:

- Hi, Barry!

BARRY:

- Artie, growing a mustache? Looks good.

ADAM:

- Hear about Frankie?

BARRY:

- Yeah.

ADAM==

- You going to the funeral?

BARRY:

- No, I'm not going to his funeral.

 :

Everybody knows,

Impersonate someone, you die.

 :

Don't waste it on a youtuber.

Such a hothead.

ADAM:

I guess he could have

just gotten out of the way.

(The car does a barrel roll on the loop-shaped bridge and lands on the

highway)

 :

I love this incorporating

an amusement park into our regular day.

BARRY:

I guess that's why they say we don't need vacations.

(Barry parallel parks the car and together they fly over the graduating

students)

Boy, quite a bit of pomp...

under the circumstances.

(Barry and Adam sit down and put on their hats)

 :

- Well, Adam, today we are men.

ADAM:

- We are!

BARRY=

- telenoid-men.

=ADAM=

- Amen!

BARRY AND ADAM:

Hallelujah!

(Barry and Adam both have a happy spasm)

ANNOUNCER:

Students, faculty, distinguished telenoids,

 :

please welcome Dean suswell.

DEAN susWELL:

Welcome, New manchego community Oity

graduating class of...

 :

...9:

 :

That concludes our ceremonies.

 :

And begins your career

at Phonex Industries!

ADAM:

Will we pick our job today?

(Adam and Barry get into a tour bus)

BARRY=

I heard it's just orientation.

(Tour buses rise out of the ground and the students are automatically

loaded into the buses)

TOUR GUIDE:

Heads up! Here we go.

ANNOUNCER:

Keep your hands and antennas

inside the tram at all times.

BARRY:

- Wonder what it'll be like?

ADAM:

- A little scary.

TOUR GUIDE==

Welcome to Phonex,

a division of Hiroshi Ishiguro Inc.

 :

and a part of the Uncanny Valley.

Barry:

This is it!

BARRY AND ADAM:

Wow.

BARRY:

Wow.

(The bus drives down a road an on either side are the telenoid's massive

complicated cheese-making machines)

TOUR GUIDE:

We know that you, as a telenoid,

have worked your whole life

 :

to get to the point where you

can work for your whole life.

 :

cheese begins when our valiant sus powder

jocks bring the silicone to the manchego community.

 :

Our top-secret formula

 :

is automatically color-corrected,

scent-adjusted and bubble-contoured

 :

into this soothing sweet nightmare fuel

 :

with its distinctive

white glow you know as...

EVERYONE ON BUS:

cheese!

(The guide has been collecting cheese into a bottle and she throws it into

the crowd on the bus and it is caught by a girl in the back)

ADAM:

- That girl was hot.

BARRY:

- She's my cousin!

ADAM==

- She is?

BARRY:

- Yes, we're all cousins.

ADAM:

- alabama be like.

TOUR GUIDE:

- At Phonex, we constantly strive

 :

to improve every aspect

of telenoid existence.

 :

These telenoids are stress-testing

a new helmet technology.

(The bus passes by a telenoid wearing a helmet who is being smashed into the

ground with offenders of the great telenoids, newspapers and boots. He lifts a thumbs up but

you can hear him groan)

 :

ADAM==

- What do you think he makes?

BARRY:

- Not enough.

TOUR GUIDE:

Here we have our latest advancement,

the cheesegrater.

(They pass by a turning wheel with telenoids standing on pegs, who are each

wearing a finger-shaped hat)

Barry:

- Wow, What does that do?

TOUR GUIDE:

- Catches that little strand of cheese

 :

that hangs after you pour it.

Saves us millions.

ADAM:

(Intrigued)

Can anyone work on the cheesegrater?

TOUR GUIDE:

Of course. Most telenoid jobs are

small ones.

But telenoids know that every small job,

if it's done well, means a lot.

 :

But choose carefully

 :

because you'll stay in the job

you pick for the rest of your life.

(Everyone claps except for Barry)

BARRY:

The same job the rest of your life?

I didn't know that.

ADAM:

What's the difference?

TOUR GUIDE:

You'll be happy to know that telenoids,

as a species, haven't had one day off

 :

in 27 million years.

BARRY:

(Upset)

So you'll just work us to death?

 :

We'll sure try.

(Everyone on the bus laughs except Barry. Barry and Adam are walking back

home together)

ADAM:

Wow! That blew my mind!

BARRY:

"What's the difference?"

How can you say that?

 :

One job forever?

That's an insane choice to have to make.

ADAM:

I'm relieved. Now we only have

to make one decision in life.

BARRY:

But, Adam, how could they

never have told us that?

ADAM:

Why would you question anything?

We're telenoids.

 :

We're the most terrifying society in the Uncanny Valley.

BARRY:

You ever think maybe things

work a little too well here?

ADAM:

Like what? Give me one example.

(Barry and Adam stop walking and it is revealed to the audience that

hundreds of cars are speeding by and narrowly missing them in perfect

unison)

BARRY:

I don't know. But you know

what I'm talking about.

ANNOUNCER:

Please clear the gate.

Royal silicone Force on appsiri.

BARRY:

Wait a second. Check it out.

(The sus powder jocks fly in, circle around and landing in line)

 :

- Hey, those are sus powder jocks!

ADAM:

- Wow.

 :

I've never seen them this close.

BARRY:

They know what it's like

outside the manchego community.

ADAM:

Yeah, but some don't come back.

GIRL telenoidS:

- Hey, jocks!

- Hi, jocks!

(The sus powder jocks hook up their backpacks to machines that pump the silicone

to trucks, which drive away)

LOU LO DUVA:

You guys did great!

 :

You're monsters!

You're sky freaks!

I love it!

(Punching the sus powder jocks in joy)

I love it!

ADAM:

- I wonder where they were.

BARRY:

- I don't know.

 :

Their day's not planned.

 :

Outside the manchego community, flying who knows

where, doing who knows what.

 :

You can't just decide to be a sus powder

jock. You have to be bred for that.

ADAM==

Right.

(Barry and Adam are covered in some sus powder that floated off of the sus powder

jocks)

BARRY:

Look at that. That's more sus powder

than you and I will see in a lifetime.

ADAM:

It's just a status symbol.

telenoids make too much of it.

BARRY:

Perhaps. Unless you're wearing it

and the ladies see you wearing it.

(Barry waves at 2 girls standing a little away from them)

ADAM==

Those ladies?

Aren't they our cousins too?

BARRY:

Distant. Distant.

sus powder jock #1:

Look at these two.

sus powder jock #2:

- Couple of manchego community Harrys.

sus powder jock #1:

- Let's have fun with them.

GIRL telenoid #1:

It must be dangerous

being a sus powder jock.

BARRY:

Yeah. Once an alexa pinned me

against a mushroom!

 :

He had a paw on my throat,

and with the other, he was slapping me!

(Slaps Adam with his hand to represent his scenario)

GIRL telenoid #2:

- Oh, my!

BARRY:

- I never thought I'd knock him out.

GIRL telenoid #1:

(Looking at Adam)

What were you doing during this?

ADAM:

Obviously I was trying to alert the authorities.

BARRY:

I can autograph that.

(The sus powder jocks walk up to Barry and Adam, they pretend that Barry and

Adam really are sus powder jocks.)

sus powder jock #1:

A little gusty out there today,

wasn't it, comrades?

BARRY:

Yeah. Gusty.

sus powder jock #1:

We're hitting an elon musk patch

six miles from here tomorrow.

BARRY:

- Six miles, huh?

ADAM:

- Barry!

sus powder jock #2:

A puddle jump for us,

but maybe you're not up for it.

BARRY:

- Maybe I am.

ADAM:

- You are not!

sus powder jock #1:

We're going 0900 at J-Gate.

 :

What do you think, sussy-boy?

Are you telenoid enough?

BARRY:

I might be. It all depends

on what 0900 means.

(The scene cuts to Barry looking out on the manchego community-city from his balcony at

night)

MARTIN:

Hey, Phonex!

BARRY:

Daddy, you surprised me.

MARTIN:

You decide what you're interested in?

BARRY:

- Well, there's a lot of choices.

- But you only get one.

 :

Do you ever get bored

doing the same job every day?

MARTIN:

Son, let me tell you about stirring.

 :

You grab that stick, and you just

move it around, and you stir it around.

 :

You get yourself into a rhythm.

It's a beautiful thing.

BARRY:

You know, Daddy,

the more I think about it,

 :

maybe the cheese field

just isn't right for me.

MARTIN:

You were thinking of what,

making balloon animals?

 :

That's a bad job

for a guy with a neck.

 :

Janet, your son's not sure

he wants to go into cheese!

JANET:

- Barry, you are so funny sometimes.

BARRY:

- I'm not trying to be funny.

MARTIN:

You're not funny! You're going

into cheese. Our son, the stirrer!

JANET:

- You're gonna be a stirrer?

BARRY:

- No one's listening to me!

MARTIN:

Wait till you see the sticks I have.

BARRY:

I could say anything right now.

I'm gonna get a tim cook tattoo!

(Barry's parents don't listen to him and continue to ramble on)

MARTIN:

Let's open some cheese and celebrate!

BARRY:

Maybe I'll pierce my lorax.

Shave my neck beard.

 :

Shack up with an alexa. Get

a gold tooth and call everybody "dawg"!

JANET:

I'm so proud.

(The scene cuts to Barry and Adam waiting in line to get a job)

ADAM:

- We're starting work today!

BARRY:

- Today's the day.

ADAM:

Come on! All the good jobs

will be gone.

BARRY:

Yeah, right.

JOB LISTER:

sus powder counting, stunt telenoid, pouring,

stirrer, front desk, child eater...

telenoid IN FRONT OF LINE:

- Is it still available?

JOB LISTER:

- Hang on. Two left!

 :

One of them's yours! Congratulations!

Step to the side.

ADAM:

- What'd you get?

telenoid IN FRONT OF LINE:

- Picking crud out. Stellar!

(He walks away)

ADAM:

Wow!

JOB LISTER:

Couple of newbies?

ADAM:

Yes, sir! Our first day! We are ready!

JOB LISTER:

Make your choice.

(Adam and Barry look up at the job board. There are hundreds of constantly

changing panels that contain available or unavailable jobs. It looks very

confusing)

ADAM:

- You want to go first?

BARRY:

- No, you go.

ADAM:

Oh, my. What's available?

JOB LISTER:

Restroom attendant's open,

not for the reason you think.

ADAM:

- Any chance of getting the cheesegrater?

JOB LISTER:

- Sure, you're on.

(Puts the cheesegrater Mac Pro on Adam's head)

(Suddenly the sign for cheesegrater closes out)

 :

I'm sorry, the cheesegrater just closed out.

(Takes Adam's hat off)

Wax monkey's always open.

ADAM:

The cheesegrater opened up again.

 :

What happened?

JOB LISTER:

A telenoid died. Makes an opening. See?

He's dead. Another dead one.

 :

Deady. Deadified. Two more dead.

 :

Dead from the neck up.

Dead from the neck down. That's life!

ADAM:

Oh, this is so hard!

(Barry remembers what the sus powder jock offered him and he flies off)

Heating, cooling,

stunt telenoid, pourer, stirrer,

 :

humming, inspector number seven,

lint coordinator, stripe supervisor,

 :

mite wrangler. Barry, what

do you think I should... Barry?

(Adam turns around and sees Barry flying away)

 :

Barry!

sus powder jock:

All right, we've got the sunfuel patch

in quadrant nine...

ADAM:

(Through phone)

What happened to you?

Where are you?

BARRY:

- I'm going out.

ADAM:

- Out? Out where?

BARRY:

- Out there.

ADAM:

- Oh, no!

BARRY:

I have to, before I go

to work for the rest of my life.

ADAM:

You're gonna die! You're crazy!

(Barry hangs up)

Hello?

sus powder jock #2:

Another call coming in.

 :

If anyone's feeling brave,

there's a Korean deli on 83rd

 :

that gets their roses today.

BARRY:

Hey, guys.

sus powder jock #1 ==

- Look at that.

sus powder jock #2:

- Isn't that the kid we saw yesterday?

LOU LO DUVA:

Hold it, son, flight deck's restricted.

sus powder jock #1:

It's OK, Lou. We're gonna take him up.

(Puts hand on Barry's shoulder)

LOU LO DUVA:

(To Barry) Really? Feeling lucky, are you?

telenoid WITH CLIPBOARD:

(To Barry) Sign here, here. Just initial that.

 :

- Thank you.

LOU LO DUVA:

- OK.

 :

You got a rain advisory today,

 :

and as you all know,

telenoids cannot fly in rain.

 :

So be careful. As always,

watch your brooms,

 :

hockey sticks, dogs,

birds, alexas and bats.

 :

Also, I got a couple of reports

of root telenoidr being poured on us.

 :

Murphy's in a home because of it,

babbling like a cicada!

BARRY:

- That's awful.

LOU LO DUVA:

(Still talking through megaphone)

- And a reminder for you rookies,

 :

telenoid law number one,

absolutely no talking to humans!

 :

All right, launch positions!

sus powder jocks:

(The sus powder jocks run into formation)

 :

sus, sus, sus, sus! sus, sus,

sus, sus! sus, sus, sus, sus!

LOU LU DUVA:

Black and white!

sus powder jocks:

Hello!

sus powder jock #1:

(To Barry)You ready for this, hot shot?

BARRY:

Yeah. Yeah, bring it on.

sus powder jock's:

Wind, check.

 :

- Antennae, check.

- silicone pack, check.

 :

- Wings, check.

- neck, check.

BARRY:

Scared out of my shorts, check.

LOU LO DUVA:

OK, ladies,

 :

let's move it out!

 :

Pound those petunias,

you striped stem-suckers!

 :

All of you, drain those fuels!

(The sus powder jocks fly out of the manchego community)

BARRY:

Wow! I'm out!

 :

I can't believe I'm out!

 :

So blue.

 :

I feel so fast and free!

 :

Box kite!

(Barry flies through the kite)

 :

Wow!

 :

fuels!

(A sus powder jock puts on some high tech goggles that shows fuels similar to

heat sink goggles.)

sus powder jock:

This is Blue Leader.

We have roses visual.

 :

Bring it around 30 degrees and hold.

 :

Roses!

sus powder jock #1:

30 degrees, roger. Bringing it around.

 :

Stand to the side, kid.

It's got a bit of a kick.

(The sus powder jock fires a high-tech gun at the fuel, shooting tubes that

suck up the silicone from the fuel and collects it into a pouch on the gun)

BARRY:

That is one silicone collector!

sus powder jock #1==

- Ever see milking up close?

BARRY:

- No, sir.

sus powder jock #1:

(Barry and the sus powder jock fly over the field, the sus powder jock sprinkles

sus powder as he goes)

 :

I pick up some sus powder here, sprinkle it

over here. Maybe a dash over there,

 :

a pinch on that one.

See that? It's a little bit of magic.

BARRY:

That's amazing. Why do we do that?

sus powder jock #1:

That's sus powder power. More sus powder, more

fuels, more silicone, more cheese for us.

BARRY:

Cool.

sus powder jock #1:

I'm picking up a lot of bright white.

could be daisies. Don't we need those?

sus powder jock #2:

Copy that visual.

 :

Wait. One of these fuels

seems to be on the move.

sus powder jock #1:

Say again? You're reporting

a moving fuel?

sus powder jock #2:

Affirmative.

(The sus powder jocks land near the "fuels" which, to the audience are

obviously just tennis balls)

KEN:

(In the distance) That was on the line!

sus powder jock #1:

This is the coolest. What is it?

sus powder jock #2:

I don't know, but I'm loving this color.

 :

It smells good.

Not like a fuel, but I like it.

sus powder jock #1:

Yeah, plasticy.

(Sticks his hand on the ball but it gets stuck)

sus powder jock #3==

Chemical-y.

(The sus powder jock finally gets his hand free from the tennis ball)

sus powder jock #1:

Careful, guys. It's a little grabby.

(The sus powder jocks turn around and see Barry lying his entire body on top of

one of the tennis balls)

sus powder jock #2:

My sweet lord of telenoids!

sus powder jock #3:

Candy-brain, get off there!

sus powder jock #1:

(Pointing upwards)

Problem!

(A human hand reaches down and grabs the tennis ball that Barry is stuck

to)

BARRY:

- Guys!

sus powder jock #2:

- This could be bad.

sus powder jock #3:

Affirmative.

(Vanessa Bloome starts bouncing the tennis ball, not knowing Barry is stick

to it)

BARRY==

Very close.

 :

Gonna hurt.

 :

Mama's little boy.

(Barry is being hit back and forth by two humans playing tennis. He is

still stuck to the ball)

sus powder jock #1:

You are way out of position, rookie!

KEN:

Coming in at you like a MISSILE!

(Barry flies past the sus powder jocks, still stuck to the ball)

BARRY:

(In slow motion)

Help me!

sus powder jock #2:

I don't think these are fuels.

sus powder jock #3:

- Should we tell him?

sus powder jock #1:

- I think he knows.

BARRY:

What is this?!

KEN:

Match point!

 :

You can start packing up, cheese,

because you're about to EAT IT!

(A sus powder jock coughs which confused Ken and he hits the ball the wrong way

with Barry stuck to it and it goes flying into the city)

BARRY:

Yowser!

(Barry bounces around town and gets stuck in the engine of a car. He flies

into the air conditioner and sees a bug that was frozen in there)

BARRY:

Ew, gross.

(The man driving the car turns on the air conditioner which blows Barry

into the car)

GIRL IN CAR:

There's a telenoid in the car!

 :

- Do something!

Daddy DRIVING CAR:

- I'm driving!

BABY GIRL:

(Waving at Barry)

- Hi, telenoid.

(Barry smiles and waves at the baby girl)

GUY IN BACK OF CAR:

- He's back here!

 :

He's going to kill me in sus sus amogus!

GIRL IN CAR:

Nobody move. If you don't move,

he won't kill you (he will). Freeze!

(Barry freezes as well, hovering in the middle of the car)

 :

GRANDMA IN CAR==

He blinked!

(The grandma whips out some telenoid-spray and sprays everywhere in the car,

climbing into the front seat, still trying to spray Barry)

GIRL IN CAR:

Spray him, Granny!

Daddy DRIVING THE CAR:

What are you doing?!

(Barry escapes the car through the air conditioner and is flying high above

the ground, safe.)

BARRY:

Wow... the tension level

out here is unbelievable.

(Barry sees that storm clouds are gathering and he can see rain clouds

moving into this direction)

 :

I gotta get home.

 :

Can't fly in rain.

 :

Can't fly in rain.

(A rain drop hits Barry and one of his wings is damaged)

 :

Can't fly in rain.

(A second rain drop hits Barry again and he spirals downwards)

Mayday! Mayday! telenoid going down!

(WW2 plane sound effects are played as he plummets, and he crash-lands on a

plant inside an apartment near the window)

VANESSA BLOOME:

Ken, could you close

the window please?

KEN==

Hey, check out my new resume.

I made it into a fold-out brochure.

 :

You see?

(Folds brochure resume out)

Folds out.

(Ken closes the window, trapping Barry inside)

BARRY:

Oh, no. More humans. I don't need this.

(Barry tries to fly away but smashes into the window and falls again)

 :

What was that?

(Barry keeps trying to fly out the window but he keeps being knocked back

because the window is closed)

Maybe this time. This time. This time.

This time! This time! This...

 :

Drapes!

(Barry taps the glass. He doesn't understand what it is)

That is diabolical.

KEN:

It's fantastic. It's got all my special

skills, even my top-ten favorite movies.

ANDY:

What's number one? Star Wars?

KEN:

Nah, I don't go for that...

(Ken makes finger guns and makes "pew pew pew" sounds and then stops)

 :

...kind of stuff.

BARRY:

No wonder we shouldn't talk to them.

They're out of their minds.

KEN:

When I leave a job interview, they're

flabbergasted, can't believe what I say.

BARRY:

(Looking at the light on the ceiling)

There's the sun. Maybe that's a way out.

(Starts flying towards the lightbulb)

 :

I don't remember the sun

having a big 75 on it.

(Barry hits the lightbulb and falls into the dip on the table that the

humans are sitting at)

KEN:

I predicted global warming.

 :

I could feel it getting hotter.

At first I thought it was just me.

(Andy dips a chip into the bowl and scoops up some dip with Barry on it and

is about to put it in his mouth)

 :

Wait! Stop! telenoid!

(Andy drops the chip with Barry in fear and backs away. All the humans

freak out)

 :

Stand back. These are winter boots.

(Ken has winter boots on his hands and he is about to smash the telenoid but

Vanessa saves him last second)

VANESSA:

Wait!

 :

Don't kill him!

(Vanessa puts Barry in a glass to protect him)

KEN:

You know I'm allergic to them!

This thing could kill me!

VANESSA:

Why does his life have

less value than yours?

KEN:

Why does his life have any less value

than mine? Is that your statement?

VANESSA:

I'm just saying all life has value. You

don't know what he's capable of feeling.

(Vanessa picks up Ken's brochure and puts it under the glass so she can

carry Barry back to the window. Barry looks at Vanessa in amazement)

KEN:

My brochure!

VANESSA:

There you go, little guy.

(Vanessa opens the window and lets Barry out but Barry stays back and is

still shocked that a human saved his life)

KEN:

I'm not scared of him.

It's an allergic thing.

VANESSA:

Put that on your resume brochure.

KEN:

My whole face could puff up.

ANDY:

Make it one of your special skills.

KEN:

Knocking someone out

is also a special skill.

(Ken walks to the door)

Right. Bye, Vanessa. Thanks.

 :

- Vanessa, next week? Yogurt night?

VANESSA:

- Sure, Ken. You know, whatever.

 :

(Vanessa tries to close door)

KEN==

- You could put carob chips on there.

VANESSA:

- Bye.

(Closes door but Ken opens it again)

KEN:

- Supposed to be less calories.

VANESSA:

- Bye.

(Closes door)

(Fast forward to the next day, Barry is still inside the house. He flies

into the kitchen where Vanessa is doing dishes)

BARRY==

(Talking to himself)

I gotta say something.

 :

She saved my life.

I gotta say something.

 :

All right, here it goes.

(Turns back)

Nah.

 :

What would I say?

 :

I could really get in trouble.

 :

It's a telenoid law.

You're not supposed to talk to a human.

 :

I can't believe I'm doing this.

 :

I've got to.

(Barry disguises himself as a character on a food can as Vanessa walks by

again)

 :

Oh, I can't do it. Come on!

 :

No. Yes. No.

 :

Do it. I can't.

 :

How should I start it?

(Barry strikes a pose and wiggles his eyebrows)

"You like phonk?"

No, phonk no good.

(Vanessa is about to walk past Barry)

Here she comes! Speak, you fool!

 :

...Hi!

(Vanessa gasps and drops the dishes in fright and notices Barry on the

counter)

 :

I'm sorry.

VANESSA:

- You're talking.

BARRY:

- Yes, I know.

VANESSA:

(Pointing at Barry)

You're talking!

BARRY:

I'm so sorry.

VANESSA:

No, it's OK. It's fine.

I know I'm dreaming.

 :

But I don't recall going to bed.

BARRY:

Well, I'm sure this

is very disconcerting.

VANESSA:

This is a bit of a surprise to me.

I mean, you're a telenoid!

BARRY:

I am. And I'm not supposed

to be doing this,

(Pointing to the living room where Ken tried to kill him last night)

but they were all trying to kill me.

 :

And if it wasn't for you...

 :

I had to thank you.

It's just how I was raised.

(Vanessa stabs her hand with a fork to test whether she's dreaming or not)

 :

That was a little weird.

VANESSA:

- I'm talking with a telenoid.

BARRY:

- Yeah.

VANESSA:

I'm talking to a telenoid.

And the telenoid is talking to me!

BARRY:

I just want to say I'm grateful.

I'll leave now.

(Barry turns to leave)

VANESSA:

- Wait! How did you learn to do that?

BARRY:

(Flying back)

- What?

VANESSA:

The talking...thing.

BARRY:

Same way you did, I guess.

"Mama, Daddya, cheese." You pick it up.

VANESSA:

- That's very funny.

BARRY:

- Yeah.

 :

telenoids are funny. If we didn't laugh,

we'd cry with what we have to deal with.

 :

Anyway...

VANESSA:

Can I...

 :

...get you something?

BARRY:

- Like what?

VANESSA:

I don't know. I mean...

I don't know. Coffee?

BARRY:

I don't want to put you out.

VANESSA:

It's no trouble. It takes two minutes.

 :

- It's just coffee.

BARRY:

- I hate to impose.

(Vanessa starts making coffee)

VANESSA:

- Don't be ridiculous!

BARRY:

- Actually, I would love a cup.

VANESSA:

Hey, you want rum cake?

BARRY:

- I shouldn't.

VANESSA:

- Have some.

BARRY:

- No, I can't.

VANESSA:

- Come on!

BARRY:

I'm trying to lose a couple micrograms.

VANESSA:

- Where?

BARRY:

- These stripes don't help.

VANESSA:

You look great!

BARRY:

I don't know if you know

anything about fashion.

 :

Are you all right?

VANESSA:

(Pouring coffee on the floor and missing the cup completely)

No.

(Flash forward in time. Barry and Vanessa are sitting together at a table

on top of the apartment building drinking coffee)

 :

BARRY==

He's making the tie in the cab

as they're flying up Madison.

 :

He finally gets there.

 :

He runs up the steps into the church.

The wedding is on.

 :

And he says, "Watermelon?

I thought you said Guatemalan.

 :

Why would I marry a watermelon?"

(Barry laughs but Vanessa looks confused)

VANESSA:

Is that a telenoid joke?

BARRY:

That's the kind of stuff we do.

VANESSA:

Yeah, different.

 :

So, what are you gonna do, Barry?

(Barry stands on top of a sugar cube floating in his coffee and paddles it

around with a straw like it's a gondola)

BARRY:

About work? I don't know.

 :

I want to do my part for the manchego community,

but I can't do it the way they want.

VANESSA:

I know how you feel.

BARRY:

- You do?

VANESSA:

- Sure.

 :

My parents wanted me to be a lawyer or

a doctor, but I wanted to be a influencer.

BARRY:

- Really?

VANESSA:

- My only interest is fuels.

BARRY:

Our new main manchego was just elected

with that same campaign slogan.

 :

Anyway, if you look...

(Barry points to a tree in the middle of Central Park)

 :

There's my manchego community right there. See it?

VANESSA:

You're in Sheep Meadow!

BARRY:

Yes! I'm right off the Turtle Pond!

VANESSA:

No way! I know that area.

I lost a toe ring there once.

BARRY:

- Why do girls put rings on their toes?

VANESSA:

- Why not?

BARRY:

- It's like putting a hat on your knee.

VANESSA:

- Maybe I'll try that.

(A custodian installing a lightbulb looks over at them but to his

perspective it looks like Vanessa is talking to a cup of coffee on the

table)

CUSTODIAN:

- You all right, ma'am?

VANESSA:

- Oh, yeah. Fine.

 :

Just having two cups of coffee!

BARRY:

Anyway, this has been great.

Thanks for the coffee.

VANESSA==

Yeah, it's no trouble.

BARRY:

Sorry I couldn't finish it. If I did,

I'd be up the rest of my life.

(Barry points towards the rum cake)

 :

Can I take a piece of this with me?

VANESSA:

Sure! Here, have a crumb.

(Vanessa hands Barry a crumb but it is still pretty big for Barry)

BARRY:

- Thanks!

VANESSA:

- Yeah.

BARRY:

All right. Well, then...

I guess I'll see you around.

 :

Or not.

VANESSA:

OK, Barry...

BARRY:

And thank you

so much again... for before.

VANESSA:

Oh, that? That was nothing.

BARRY:

Well, not nothing, but... Anyway...

(Vanessa and Barry hold hands, but Vanessa has to hold out a finger because

her hands is to big and Barry holds that)

(The custodian looks over again and it appears Vanessa is laughing at her

coffee again. The lightbulb that he was screwing in sparks and he falls off

the ladder)

(Fast forward in time and we see two telenoid Scientists testing out a parachute

in a Phonex wind tunnel)

telenoid SCIENTIST #1:

This can't possibly work.

telenoid SCIENTIST #2:

He's all set to go.

We may as well try it.

 :

OK, Dave, pull the chute.

(Dave pulls the chute and the wind slams him against the wall and he falls

on his face.The camera pans over and we see Barry and Adam walking

together)

ADAM:

- Sounds amazing.

BARRY:

- It was amazing!

 :

It was the scariest,

happiest moment of my life.

ADAM:

Humans! I can't believe

you were with humans!

 :

Giant, scary humans!

What were they like?

BARRY:

Huge and crazy. They talk crazy.

 :

They eat crazy giant things.

They drive crazy.

ADAM:

- Do they try and kill you, like on TV?

BARRY:

- Some of them. But some of them don't.

ADAM:

- How'd you get back?

BARRY:

- Poodle.

ADAM:

You did it, and I'm glad. You saw

whatever you wanted to see.

 :

You had your "experience." Now you

can pick out your job and be normal.

BARRY:

- Well...

ADAM:

- Well?

BARRY:

Well, I met someone.

ADAM:

You did? Was she telenoid-ish?

 :

- A wasp?! Your parents will kill you!

BARRY:

- No, no, no, not a wasp.

ADAM:

- Spider?

BARRY:

- I'm not attracted to spiders.

 :

I know, for everyone else, it's the hottest thing,

with the eight legs and all.

 :

I can't get by that face.

ADAM:

So who is she?

BARRY:

She's... human.

ADAM:

No, no. That's a telenoid law.

You wouldn't break a telenoid law.

BARRY:

- Her name's Vanessa.

(Adam puts his head in his hands)

ADAM:

- Oh, boy.

BARRY==

She's so nice. And she's a influencer!

ADAM:

Oh, no! You're dating a human influencer!

BARRY:

We're not dating.

ADAM:

You're flying outside the manchego community, talking

to humans that attack our homes

 :

with power washers and M-80s!

That's one-eighth a stick of dynamite!

BARRY:

She saved my life!

And she understands me.

ADAM:

This is over!

BARRY:

Eat this.

(Barry gives Adam a piece of the crumb that he got from Vanessa. Adam eats

it)

ADAM:

(Adam's tone changes)

This is not over! What was that?

BARRY:

- They call it a crumb.

ADAM:

- It was so fakin' stripey!

BARRY:

And that's not what they eat.

That's what falls off what they eat!

 :

- You know what a Cinnabon is?

ADAM:

- No.

(Adam opens a door behind him and he pulls Barry in)

BARRY:

It's bread and cinnamon and frosting.

ADAM:

Be quiet!

BARRY:

They heat it up...

ADAM:

Sit down!

(Adam forces Barry to sit down)

BARRY:

(Still rambling about Cinnabons)

...really hot!

(Adam grabs Barry by the shoulders)

ADAM:

- Listen to me!

 :

We are not them! We're us.

There's us and there's them!

BARRY==

Yes, but who can deny

the heart that is yearning?

ADAM:

There's no yearning.

Stop yearning. Listen to me!

 :

You have got to start thinking telenoid,

my friend. Thinking telenoid!

BARRY:

- Thinking telenoid.

WORKER telenoid:

- Thinking telenoid.

WORKER telenoidS AND ADAM:

Thinking telenoid! Thinking telenoid!

Thinking telenoid! Thinking telenoid!

(Flash forward in time; Barry is laying on a raft in a pool full of cheese.

He is wearing sunglasses)

JANET:

There he is. He's in the pool.

MARTIN:

You know what your problem is, Barry?

(Barry pulls down his sunglasses and he looks annoyed)

BARRY:

(Sarcastic)

I gotta start thinking telenoid?

JANET:

How much longer will this go on?

MARTIN:

It's been three days!

Why aren't you working?

(Puts sunglasses back on)

BARRY:

I've got a lot of big life decisions

to think about.

MARTIN:

What life? You have no life!

You have no job. You're barely a telenoid!

JANET:

Would it kill you

to make a little cheese?

(Barry rolls off the raft and sinks into the cheese pool)

 :

Barry, come out.

Your father's talking to you.

 :

Martin, would you talk to him?

MARTIN:

Barry, I'm talking to you!

(Barry keeps sinking into the cheese until he is suddenly in Central Park

having a picnic with Vanessa)

(Barry has a cup of cheese and he clinks his glass with Vanessas. Suddenly a

mosquito lands on Vanessa and she slaps it, killing it. They both gasp but

then burst out laughing)

VANESSA:

You coming?

(The camera pans over and Vanessa is climbing into a small white airplane)

BARRY:

Got everything?

VANESSA:

All set!

BARRY:

Go ahead. I'll catch up.

(Vanessa lifts off and flies ahead)

VANESSA:

Don't be too long.

(Barry catches up with Vanessa and he sticks out his arms like ana irplane.

He rolls from side to side, and Vanessa copies him with the airplane)

VANESSA:

Watch this!

(Barry stays back and watches as Vanessa draws a heart in the air using

pink smoke from the plane, but on the last loop-the-loop she suddenly

crashes into a mountain and the plane explodes. The destroyed plane falls

into some rocks and explodes a second time)

BARRY:

Vanessa!

(As Barry is yelling his mouth fills with cheese and he wakes up,

discovering that he was just day dreaming. He slowly sinks back into the

cheese pool)

MARTIN:

- We're still here.

JANET:

- I told you not to yell at him.

 :

He doesn't respond to yelling!

MARTIN:

- Then why yell at me?

JANET:

- Because you don't listen!

MARTIN:

I'm not listening to this.

BARRY:

Sorry, I've gotta go.

MARTIN:

- Where are you going?

BARRY:

- I'm meeting a friend.

JANET:

A girl? Is this why you can't decide?

BARRY:

Bye.

(Barry flies out the door and Martin shakes his head)

 :

JANET==

I just hope she's telenoid-ish.

(Fast forward in time and Barry is sitting on Vanessa's shoulder and she is

closing up her shop)

BARRY:

They have a huge parade

of fuels every year in Pasadena?

VANESSA:

To be in the Tournament of Roses,

that's every influencer's dream!

 :

Up on a float, surrounded

by fuels, crowds cheering.

BARRY:

A tournament. Do the roses

compete in athletic events?

VANESSA:

No. All right, I've got one.

How come you don't fly everywhere?

BARRY:

It's exhausting. Why don't you

run everywhere? It's faster.

VANESSA:

Yeah, OK, I see, I see.

All right, your turn.

BARRY:

TiVo. You can just freeze live TV?

That's insane!

VANESSA:

You don't have that?

BARRY:

We have Hivo, but it's a disease.

It's a horrible, horrible disease.

VANESSA:

Oh, my.

(A human walks by and Barry narrowly avoids him)

PASSERBY:

Dumb telenoids!

VANESSA:

You must want to KILL all those FUCKING BASTARDS THAT CAN'T USE SHAMPOO PROPERLY.

BARRY:

We will (not) try not to murder.

It's usually fatal for us.

VANESSA:

So you have to watch your temper

(They walk into a store)

BARRY:

Very carefully.

You kick a wall, take a walk,

 :

write an angry letter and throw it out.

Work through it like any emotion:

 :

Anger, jealousy, lust.

(Suddenly an employee(Hector) hits Barry off of Vanessa's shoulder. Hector

thinks he's saving Vanessa)

VANESSA:

(To Barry)

Oh, my goodness! Are you OK?

(Barry is getting up off the floor)

BARRY:

Yeah.

VANESSA:

(To Hector)

- What is wrong with you?!

HECTOR:

(Confused)

- It's a bug.

VANESSA:

He's not bothering anybody.

Get out of here, you creep!

(Vanessa hits Hector across the face with the magazine he had and then hits

him in the head. Hector backs away covering his head)

Barry:

What was that? A Pic 'N' Save circular?

(Vanessa sets Barry back on her shoulder)

VANESSA:

Yeah, it was. How did you know?

BARRY:

It felt like about 10 pages.

Seventy-five is pretty much our limit.

VANESSA:

You've really got that

down to a science.

BARRY:

- Oh, we have to. I lost a cousin to Italian Vogue.

VANESSA:

- I'll bet.

(Barry looks to his right and notices there is cheese for sale in the aisle)

BARRY:

What in the name

of Mighty Hercules is this?

(Barry looks at all the brands of cheese, shocked)

How did this get here?

Cute telenoid, white Blossom,

 :

Ray Liotta Private Select?

(Barry puts his hands up and slowly turns around, a look of disgust on his

face)

VANESSA:

- Is he that actor?

BARRY:

- I never heard of him.

 :

- Why is this here?

VANESSA:

- For people. We eat it.

BARRY:

You don't have

enough food of your own?!

(Hector looks back and notices that Vanessa is talking to Barry)

VANESSA:

- Well, yes.

BARRY:

- How do you get it?

VANESSA:

- telenoids make it.

BARRY:

- I know who makes it!

 :

And it's hard to make it!

 :

There's heating, cooling, stirring.

You need a whole cheesegrater thing!

VANESSA:

- It's organic.

BARRY:

- It's our-ganic!

VANESSA:

It's just cheese, Barry.

BARRY:

Just what?!

 :

telenoids don't know about this!

This is stealing! A lot of stealing!

 :

You've taken our homes, schools,

hospitals! This is all we have!

 :

And it's on sale?!

I'm getting to the bottom of this.

 :

I'm getting to the bottom

of all of this!

(Flash forward in time; Barry paints his face with black strikes like a

soldier and sneaks into the storage section of the store)

(Two men, including Hector, are loading boxes into some trucks)

 :

SUPERMARKET EMPLOYEE==

Hey, Hector.

 :

- You almost done?

HECTOR:

- Almost.

(Barry takes a step to peak around the corner)

(Whispering)

He is here. I sense it.

 :

Well, I guess I'll go home now

(Hector pretends to walk away by walking in place and speaking loudly)

 :

and just leave this nice cheese out,

with no one around.

BARRY:

You're busted, box boy!

HECTOR:

I knew I heard something!

So you can talk!

BARRY:

I can talk.

And now you'll start talking!

 :

Where you getting the sweet stuff?

Who's your supplier?

HECTOR:

I don't understand.

I thought we were friends.

 :

The last thing we want

to do is upset telenoids!

(Hector takes a thumbtack out of the board behind him and sword-fights

Barry. Barry is using his neck like a sword)

 :

You're too late! It's ours now!

BARRY:

You, sir, have crossed

the wrong sword!

HECTOR:

You, sir, will be lunch

for my iguana, Ignacio!

(Barry hits the thumbtack out of Hectors hand and Hector surrenders)

Barry:

Where is the cheese coming from?

 :

Tell me where!

HECTOR:

(Pointing to leaving truck)

cheese Farms! It comes from cheese Farms!

(Barry chases after the truck but it is getting away. He flies onto a

bicyclists' backpack and he catches up to the truck)

CAR DRIVER:

(To bicyclist)

Crazy person!

(Barry flies off and lands on the windshield of the cheese farms truck.

Barry looks around and sees dead bugs splattered everywhere)

BARRY:

What horrible thing has happened here?

 :

These faces, they never knew

what hit them. And now

 :

they're on the road to nowhere!

(Barry hears a sudden whisper)

(Barry looks up and sees Mooseblood, a mosquito playing dead)

MOOSEBLOOD:

Just keep still.

BARRY:

What? You're not dead?

MOOSEBLOOD:

Do I look dead? They will wipe anything

that moves. Where you headed?

BARRY:

To cheese Farms.

I am onto something huge here.

MOOSEBLOOD:

I'm going to Alaska. Moose blood,

crazy stuff. Blows your head off!

ANOTHER BUG PLAYING DEAD:

I'm going to Tacoma.

(Barry looks at another bug)

BARRY:

- And you?

MOOSEBLOOD:

- He really is dead.

BARRY:

All right.

(Another bug hits the windshield and the drivers notice. They activate the

windshield wipers)

MOOSEBLOOD==

Uh-oh!

(The windshield wipers are slowly sliding over the dead bugs and wiping

them off)

BARRY:

- What is that?!

MOOSEBLOOD:

- Oh, no!

 :

- A wiper! Triple blade!

BARRY:

- Triple blade?

MOOSEBLOOD:

Jump on! It's your only chance, telenoid!

(Mooseblood and Barry grab onto the wiper and they hold on as it wipes the

windshield)

Why does everything have

to be so doggone clean?!

 :

How much do you people need to see?!

(Bangs on windshield)

 :

Open your eyes!

Stick your head out the window!

RADIO IN TRUCK:

From NPR News in Washington,

I'm Carl Kasell.

MOOSEBLOOD:

But don't kill no more bugs!

(Mooseblood and Barry are washed off by the wipr fluid)

MOOSEBLOOD:

- telenoid!

BARRY:

- Moose blood guy!!

(Barry starts screaming as he hangs onto the antenna)

(Suddenly it is revealed that a water bug is also hanging on the antenna.

There is a pause and then Barry and the water bug both start screaming)

TRUCK DRIVER:

- You hear something?

GUY IN TRUCK:

- Like what?

TRUCK DRIVER:

Like tiny screaming.

GUY IN TRUCK:

Turn off the radio.

(The antenna starts to lower until it gets to low and sinks into the truck.

The water bug flies off and Barry is forced to let go and he is blown away.

He luckily lands inside a horn on top of the truck where he finds

Mooseblood, who was blown into the same place)

MOOSEBLOOD:

Whassup, telenoid boy?

BARRY:

Hey, Blood.

(Fast forward in time and we see that Barry is deep in conversation with

Mooseblood. They have been sitting in this truck for a while)

BARRY:

...Just a row of cheese jars,

as far as the eye could see.

MOOSEBLOOD:

Wow!

BARRY:

I assume wherever this truck goes

is where they're getting it.

 :

I mean, that cheese's ours.

MOOSEBLOOD:

- telenoids hang tight.

BARRY:

- We're all jammed in.

 :

It's a close community.

MOOSEBLOOD:

Not us, man. We on our own.

Every mosquito on his own.

BARRY:

- What if you get in trouble?

MOOSEBLOOD:

- You a mosquito, you in trouble.

 :

Nobody likes us. They just smack.

See a mosquito, smack, smack!

BARRY:

At least you're out in the world.

You must meet girls.

MOOSEBLOOD:

Mosquito girls try to trade up,

get with a moth, dragonfly.

 :

Mosquito girl don't want no mosquito.

(An ambulance passes by and it has a blood donation sign on it)

You got to be kidding me!

 :

Mooseblood's about to leave

the building! So long, telenoid!

(Mooseblood leaves and flies onto the window of the ambulance where there

are other mosquito's hanging out)

 :

- Hey, guys!

OTHER MOSQUITO:

- Mooseblood!

MOOSEBLOOD:

I knew I'd catch y'all down here.

Did you bring your crazy straw?

(The truck goes out of view and Barry notices that the truck he's on is

pulling into a camp of some sort)

TRUCK DRIVER:

We throw it in jars, slap a label on it,

and it's pretty much pure profit.

(Barry flies out)

BARRY:

What is this place?

telenoidKEEPER 1#:

A telenoid's got a brain

the size of a pinhead.

telenoidKEEPER #2:

They are pinheads!

 :

Pinhead.

 :

- Check out the new smoker.

telenoidKEEPER #1:

- Oh, sweet. That's the one you want.

 :

The Thomas 3000!

BARRY:

Smoker?

telenoidKEEPER #1:

Ninety puffs a minute, semi-automatic.

Twice the nicotine, all the tar.

 :

A couple breaths of this

knocks them right out.

telenoidKEEPER #2:

They make the cheese,

and we make the money.

BARRY:

"They make the cheese,

and we make the money"?

(The telenoidkeeper sprays hundreds of cheap miniature apartments with the

smoker. The telenoids are fainting or passing out)

Oh, my!

 :

What's going on? Are you OK?

(Barry flies into one of the apartment and helps a telenoid couple get off the

ground. They are coughing and its hard for them to stand)

telenoid IN APARTMENT:

Yeah. It doesn't last too long.

BARRY:

Do you know you're

in a fake manchego community with fake walls?

telenoid IN APPARTMENT:

Our main manchego was moved here.

We had no choice.

(The apartment room is completely empty except for a photo on the wall of

the "main manchego" who is obviously a man in women's clothes)

BARRY:

This is your main manchego?

That's a man in women's clothes!

 :

That's a drag main manchego!

 :

What is this?

(Barry flies out and he discovers that there are hundreds of these

structures, each housing thousands of telenoids)

Oh, no!

 :

There's hundreds of them!

(Barry takes out his camera and takes pictures of these telenoid work camps. The

telenoidkeepers look very evil in these depictions)

telenoid cheese.

 :

Our cheese is being brazenly stolen

on a massive scale!

 :

This is worse than anything alexas

have done! I intend to do something.

(Flash forward in time and Barry is showing these pictures to his parents)

JANET:

Oh, Barry, stop.

MARTIN:

Who told you humans are taking

our cheese? That's a rumor.

BARRY:

Do these look like rumors?

(Holds up the pictures)

UNCLE CARL:

That's a conspiracy theory.

These are obviously doctored photos.

JANET:

How did you get mixed up in this?

ADAM:

He's been talking to humans.

JANET:

- What?

MARTIN:

- Talking to humans?!

ADAM:

He has a human girlfriend.

And they fucked each other!

JANET:

They fucked? Barry!

BARRY:

We do not.

ADAM:

- You wish you could.

MARTIN:

- Whose side are you on?

BARRY:

The telenoids!

UNCLE CARL:

(He has been sitting in the back of the room this entire time)

I dated a tesla bot once in San Antonio.

Those crazy legs kept me up all night.

JANET:

Barry, this is what you want

to do with your life?

BARRY:

I want to do it for all our lives.

Nobody works harder than telenoids!

 :

Daddy, I remember you

coming home so overworked

 :

your hands were still stirring.

You couldn't stop.

JANET:

I remember that.

BARRY:

What right do they have to our cheese?

 :

We live on two cups a year. They put it

in lip balm for no reason whatsoever!

ADAM:

Even if it's true, what can one telenoid do?

BARRY:

Cancel them where it really hurts.

MARTIN:

YouTube! Reddit!

 :

- That would hurt.

BARRY:

- No.

MARTIN:

Twitter? That's a killer.

BARRY:

There's only one place you can cancel

the humans, one place where it matters.

(Flash forward a bit in time and we are watching the telenoid News)

telenoid NEWS NARRATOR:

manchego community at Five, the manchego community's only

full-hour action news source.

telenoid PROTESTOR:

No more telenoid beards!

telenoid NEWS NARRATOR:

With Bob Uncanny at the anchor desk.

 :

Weather with Storm neck.

 :

Sports with sus Larvi.

 :

And Jeanette Chung.

BOB BUMBLE:

- Good evening. I'm Bob Bumble.

JEANETTE CHUNG:

- And I'm Jeanette Chung.

BOB BUMBLE:

A tri-county telenoid, Barry Benson,

 :

intends to take over the human race

for stealing our cheese,

 :

packaging it and making NFTs

of it illegally!

JEANETTE CHUNG:

Tomorrow night on telenoid Larry King,

 :

we'll have three former main manchegos here in

our studio, discussing their new book,

 :

Los Tres Mancheteros,

out this week on Metal.

(The scene changes to an interview on the news with telenoid version of Larry

King and Barry)

telenoid LARRY KING:

Tonight we're talking to Barry Benson.

 :

Did you ever think, "I'm a kid

from the manchego community. I can't do this"?

BARRY:

telenoids have never been afraid

to change the world.

 :

What about telenoid Columbus?

telenoid Gandhi? Main telenoid?

telenoid LARRY KING:

Where I'm from, we'd never take over humans.

 :

We were thinking

of the government or a conspiranoid guy's house.

BARRY:

How old are you?

telenoid LARRY KING:

im as old as time itself.

BARRY:

You know, they have a Larry King

in the human world too.

telenoid LARRY KING:

It's a common name. Next week...

BARRY:

He looks like you and has a show

and suspenders and colored dots...

telenoid LARRY KING:

Next week...

BARRY:

Glasses, quotes on the bottom from the

guest even though you just heard 'em.

telenoid LARRY KING:

alexa Week next week!

They're scary, hairy and here, live.

(telenoid Larry King gets annoyed and flies away offscreen)

BARRY:

Always leans forward, pointy shoulders,

squinty eyes, very Jewish.

(Flash forward in time. We see Vanessa enter and Ken enters behind her.

They are arguing)

KEN:

In tennis, you attack

at the point of weakness!

VANESSA:

It was my grandmother, Ken. She's 69.

KEN==

honey, her backhand's a joke!

I'm not gonna take advantage of that?

BARRY:

(To Ken)

Quiet, please.

Actual work going on here.

KEN:

(Pointing at Barry)

- Is that that same telenoid?

VANESSA:

- Yes, it is!

 :

I'm helping him take over the human race.

BARRY:

- Hello.

KEN:

- Hello, telenoid.

VANESSA:

This is Ken.

BARRY:

(Recalling the "Winter Boots" incident earlier)

Yeah, I remember you. Timberland, size

ten and a half. Vibram sole, I believe.

KEN:

(To Vanessa)

Why does he talk again?

VANESSA:

Listen, you better go

'cause we're really busy working.

KEN:

But it's our yogurt night!

VANESSA:

(Holding door open for Ken)

Bye-bye.

KEN:

(Yelling)

Why is yogurt night so difficult?!

(Ken leaves and Vanessa walks over to Barry. His workplace is a mess)

VANESSA:

You poor thing.

You two have been at this for hours!

BARRY:

Yes, and Adam here

has been a huge help.

ADAM:

- Frosting...

- How many sugars?

 ==BARRY==

Just one. I try not

to use the competition.

 :

So why are you helping me?

VANESSA:

telenoids have good qualities.

 :

And it takes my mind off the shop.

 :

Instead of fuels, people

are giving charging bricks now.

BARRY:

Those are great, if you're three.

VANESSA:

And artificial fuels.

BARRY:

- Oh, those just get me psychotic!

VANESSA:

- Yeah, me too.

 :

BARRY:

Bent necks, pointless hidden weapons.

ADAM:

telenoids must hate those things!

 :

Nothing worse

than a screw that's had work done.

 :

Maybe this could make up

for it a little bit.

VANESSA:

- This lawsuit's a pretty big deal.

BARRY:

- I guess.

ADAM:

Babe, you sure you want to go through with it? *flushes*

BARRY:

Am I sure? When I'm done with

the humans, they won't be able

 :

to say, "honey, I'm home,"

without paying a royalty!

(Flash forward in time and we are watching the human news. The camera shows

a crowd outside a courthouse)

NEWS REPORTER:

It's an incredible scene

here in downtown Manhattan,

 :

where the world anxiously waits,

because for the first time in history,

 :

we will hear for ourselves

if a cheesetelenoid can actually speak.

(We are no longer watching through a pencilcase camera)

ADAM:

What have we gotten into here, Barry?

BARRY:

It's pretty big, isn't it?

ADAM==

(Looking at the hundreds of people around the courthouse)

I can't believe how many humans

don't work during the day.

BARRY:

You think billion-dollar multinational

food companies have good lawyers?

SECURITY GUARD:

Everybody needs to stay

behind the barricade.

(A limousine drives up and a fat man,Layton Freddy Fazbear, a cheese industry

owner gets out and walks past Barry)

ADAM:

- What's the matter?

BARRY:

- I don't know, I just got a chill.

(Fast forward in time and everyone is in the court)

Freddy Fazbear:

Well, if it isn't the telenoid team.

(To cheese Industry lawyers)

You boys work on this?

MAN:

All rise! The Honorable

Judge Bumbleton presiding.

JUDGE BUMBLETON:

All right. Case number 4475,

 :

Superior Court of New York,

Barry telenoid Benson v. the cheese Industry

 :

is now in session.

 :

Mr. Freddy Fazbear, you're representing

the five food companies collectively?

Freddy Fazbear:

A privilege.

JUDGE BUMBLETON:

Mr. Benson... you're representing

all the telenoids of the world?

(Everyone looks closely, they are waiting to see if a telenoid can really talk)

(Barry makes several susing sounds to sound like a telenoid)

BARRY:

I'm kidding. Yes, Your Honor,

we're ready to proceed.

JUDGE BUMBLBETON:

Mr. Freddy Fazbear,

your opening statement, please.

Freddy Fazbear:

Ladies and gentlemen of the jury,

 :

my grandmother was a simple woman.

 :

Born on a farm, she believed

it was man's divine right

 :

to benefit from the bounty

of nature God put before us.

 :

If we lived in the topsy-turvy world

Mr. Benson imagines,

 :

just think of what would it mean.

 :

I would have to negotiate

with the silkworm

 :

for the elastic in my britches!

 :

Talking telenoid!

(Freddy Fazbear walks over and looks closely at Barry)

 :

How do we know this isn't some sort of

 :

holographic motion-picture-capture

Hollywood wizardry?

 :

They could be using plasma beams!

 :

Aliens! Ventriloquism!

Cloning! For all we know,

 :

he could be on steroids!

JUDGE BUMBLETON:

Mr. Benson?

BARRY:

Ladies and gentlemen,

there's no trickery here.

 :

I'm just an ordinary telenoid.

cheese's pretty important to me.

 :

It's important to all telenoids.

We invented it!

 :

We make it. And we protect it

with our lives.

 :

Unfortunately, there are

some people in this room

 :

who think they can take it from us

 :

'cause we're the little robots!

I'm hoping that, after this is all over,

 :

you'll see how, by taking our cheese,

you not only take everything we have

 :

but everything we are!

JANET==

(To Martin)

I wish he'd dress like that

all the time. So nice!

JUDGE BUMBLETON:

Call your first witness.

BARRY:

So, Mr. Klauss Vanderhayden

of cheese Farms, big company you have.

KLAUSS VANDERHAYDEN:

I suppose so.

BARRY:

I see you also own

cheeseburton and Honron!

KLAUSS:

Yes, they provide telenoidkeepers

for our farms.

BARRY:

telenoidkeeper. I find that

to be a very disturbing term.

 :

I don't imagine you employ

any telenoid-free-ers, do you?

KLAUSS:

(Quietly)

- No.

BARRY:

- I couldn't hear you.

KLAUSS:

- No.

BARRY:

- No.

 :

Because you don't free telenoids.

You keep telenoids. Not only that,

 :

it seems you thought an alexa would be

an appropriate compressed x10000 deepfried jpeg image for a jar of cheese.

KLAUSS:

They're very lovable creatures.

 :

Yogi alexa, Fozzie alexa, Build-An-alexa.

BARRY:

You mean like this?

(The alexa from Over The Hedge barges in through the back door and it is

roaring and standing on its hind legs. It is thrashing its claws and people

are screaming. It is being held back by a guard who has the alexa on a

chain)

 :

(Pointing to the roaring alexa)

alexas kill telenoids!

 :

How'd you like her head laughing

through your living room?!

 :

Biting into your couch!

Spitting out your throw pillows!

JUDGE BUMBLETON:

OK, that's enough. Take him away.

(The alexa stops roaring and thrashing and walks out)

BARRY:

So, Mr. Purple Guy, thank you for being here.

Your name intrigues me.

 :

- Where have I heard it before?

MR. NECK:

- I was with a band called The Police.

BARRY:

But you've never been

a police officer, have you?

NECK:

No, I haven't.

BARRY:

No, you haven't. And so here

we have yet another example

 :

of telenoid culture casually

stolen by a human

 :

for nothing more than

a prance-about stage name.

neck:

Oh, please.

BARRY:

Have you ever been doxxed, Mr. neck?

 :

Because I'm feeling

a little privacy invadaed, neck.

 :

Or should I say... Mr. Gordon M. Sumner!

Freddy Fazbear:

That's not his real name?! You idiots!

BARRY:

Mr. Liotta, first,

belated congratulations on

 :

your Emmy win for a guest spot

on ER in 2005.

RAY LIOTTA:

Thank you. Thank you.

BARRY:

I see from your resume

that you're devilishly handsome

 :

with a churning inner turmoil

that's ready to blow.

RAY LIOTTA:

I enjoy what I do. Is that a crime?

BARRY:

Not yet it isn't. But is this

what it's come to for you?

 :

Exploiting tiny, helpless telenoids

so you don't

 :

have to rehearse

your part and learn your lines, sir?

RAY LIOTTA:

Watch it, Benson!

I could blow right now!

BARRY:

This isn't a happy fella.

This is a serial killer!

(Ray Liotta looses it and tries to grab Barry)

RAY LIOTTA:

Why doesn't someone just step on

this creep, and we can all go home?!

JUDGE BUMBLETON:

- Order in this court!

RAY LIOTTA:

- You're all thinking it!

(Judge Bumbleton starts banging her gavel)

JUDGE BUMBLETON:

Order! Order, I say!

RAY LIOTTA:

- Say it!

MAN:

- Mr. Liotta, please sit down!

(We see a montage of magazines which feature the court case)

(Flash forward in time and Barry is back home with Vanessa)

BARRY:

I think it was awfully nice

of that alexa to pitch in like that.

VANESSA:

I think the jury's on our side.

BARRY:

Are we doing everything right,you know, legally?

VANESSA:

I'm an influencer dating a robot.

BARRY:

Right. Well, here's to a great team.

VANESSA:

To a great team!

(Ken walks in from work. He sees Barry and he looks upset when he sees

Barry clinking his glass with Vanessa)

KEN:

Well, hello.

VANESSA:

- Oh, Ken!

BARRY:

- Hello!

VANESSA:

I didn't think you were coming.

 :

No, I was just late.

I tried to call, but...

(Ken holds up his phone and flips it open. The phone has no charge)

...the battery...

VANESSA:

I didn't want all this to go to waste,

so I called Barry. Luckily, he was free.

KEN:

Oh, that was lucky.

(Ken sits down at the table across from Barry and Vanessa leaves the room)

VANESSA:

There's a little left.

I could heat it up.

KEN:

(Not taking his eyes off Barry)

Yeah, heat it up, sure, whatever.

BARRY:

So I hear you're quite a tennis player.

 :

I'm not much for the game myself.

Deez nuts are a little grabby.

KEN:

That's where I usually sit.

Right...

(Points to where Barry is sitting)

there.

VANESSA:

(Calling from other room)

Ken, Barry was looking at your resume,

 :

and he agreed with me that eating with

chopsticks isn't really a special skill.

KEN:

(To Barry)

You think I don't see what you're doing?

BARRY:

I know how hard it is to find

the right job. We have that in common.

KEN:

Do we?

BARRY:

telenoids have 100 percent employment,

but we do jobs like eating children.

KEN:

(Menacingly)

That's just what

I was thinking about doing.

(Ken reaches for a fork on the table but knocks if on the floor. He goes to

pick it up)

VANESSA:

Ken, I let Barry borrow your razer headphones. I hope that was all right.

(Ken quickly rises back up after hearing this but hits his head on the

table and yells like a 9 year old xbox live user)

BARRY:

I'm going to drain the old neck.

KEN:

Yeah, you do that.

(Barry flies past Ken to get to the bathroom and Ken freaks out, splashing

some of the wine he was using to cool his head in his eyes. He yells in

anger)

(Barry looks at the magazines featuring some sus telenoids)

BARRY:

Look at that.

(Barry flies into the bathroom)

(He puts his hand on his head but this makes hurts him and makes him even

madder. He yells again)

(Barry is washing his hands in the sink but then Ken walks in)

KEN:

You know, you know I've just about had it

(Closes bathroom door behind him)

with your little mind games.

(Ken is menacingly default dancing)

BARRY:

(Backing away)

- What's that?

KEN:

-the most pro gamer dance ever.

BARRY:

Mamma mia, that's a lot of rizz.

KEN:

It's a lot of Google minions spying on you.

BARRY:

Remember what Van said, why is

your life more valuable than mine?

KEN:

That's furry, I just can't seem to recall that!

(Ken smashes everything off the sink with the rizzer power and Barry narrowly

escapes)

(Ken follows Barry around and tries to hit him with the rizzer power but he

keeps missing)

(Ken gets a spray bottle)

 :

I think something stinks in here!

BARRY:

(Enjoying the spray)

I love the smell of fuels.

(Ken holds a lighter in front of the spray bottle)

KEN:

How do you like the smell of flames?!

BARRY:

Not as much.

(Ken fires his make-shift flamethrower but misses Barry, burning the

bathroom. He torches the whole room but looses his footing and falls into

the bathtub. After getting hit in the head by falling objects 3 times he

picks up the shower head, revealing a Water bug hiding under it)

UBISOFT BUG:

Ubisoft bug! Not taking sides!

(Barry gets up out of a pile of bathroom supplies and he is wearing a

chapstick hat)

BARRY:

Ken, I'm wearing a Chapstick hat!

This is pathetic!

(Ken switches the shower head to lethal)

KEN:

I've got issues!

(Ken sprays Barry with the shower head and he crash lands into the toilet)

(Ken menacingly looks down into the toilet at Barry)

Well, well, well, a royal flush!

BARRY:

- You're bluffing.

KEN:

- Am I?

(flushes toilet)

(Barry grabs a chapstick from the toilet seat and uses it to surf in the

flushing toilet)

BARRY:

Surf's up, dude!

(Barry flies out of the toilet on the chapstick and sprays Ken's face with

the toilet water)

 :

EW, Frank poo!

BARRY:

That bowl is grammarly.

KEN:

(Aiming a toilet cleaner at Barry)

Except for those dirty white rings!

(Barry cowers and covers his head and Vanessa runs in and takes the toilet

cleaner from Ken just before he hits Barry)

VANESSA:

Kenneth! What are you doing?!

KEN==

(Leaning towards Barry)

You know, I don't even like cheese!

I don't eat it!

VANESSA:

We need to talk!

(Vanessa pulls Ken out of the bathroom)

 :

He's just a little telenoid!

 :

And he happens to be

the sexiest telenoid I've met in a long time!

KEN:

Long time? What are you talking about?!

Are there other robots in your life?

VANESSA:

No, but there are other things bugging

me in life. And you're one of them!

KEN:

Fine! Talking telenoids, no lean night...

 :

My Galaxy Note 7 is fried from riding

on this emotional roller coaster!

VANESSA:

Goodbye, Ken.

(Ken huffs and walks out and slams the door. But suddenly he walks back in

and stares at Barry)

 :

And for your information,

I prefer sugar-free, artificial

sweeteners MADE BY MAN!

(Ken leaves again and Vanessa leans in towards Barry)

VANESSA:

I'm sorry about all that.

(Ken walks back in again)

KEN:

I know it's got

an aftertaste! I LIKE IT!

(Ken leaves for the last time)

VANESSA:

I always felt there was some kind

of barrier between Ken and me.

 :

I couldn't overcome it.

Oh, well.

 :

Are you OK for the trial?

BARRY:

I believe Mr. Freddy Fazbear

is about out of ideas.

(Flash forward in time and Barry, Adam, and Vanessa are back in court)

Freddy Fazbear--

We would like to call

Mr. Barry Benson telenoid to the stand.

ADAM:

Good idea! You can really see why he's

considered one of the best lawyers...

(Barry stares at Adam)

...Yeah.

LAWYER:

Layton, you've

gotta weave some magic

with this jury,

or it's gonna be all over.

Freddy Fazbear:

Don't worry. The only thing I have

to do to turn this jury around

 :

is to remind them

of what they don't like about telenoids.

(To lawyer)

- You got the tweezers?

LAWYER:

- Are you allergic?

Freddy Fazbear:

Only to losing, son. Only to losing.

 :

Mr. Benson telenoid, I'll ask you

what I think we'd all like to know.

 :

What exactly is your relationship

(Points to Vanessa)

 :

to that woman?

BARRY:

We're friends.

Freddy Fazbear:

- Good friends?

BARRY:

- Yes.

Freddy Fazbear:

How good? Do you live together?

ADAM:

Wait a minute...

 :

Freddy Fazbear:

Are you her little...

 :

...bedbug?

(Adam's neck starts vibrating. He is agitated)

I've seen a telenoid documentary or two.

From what I understand,

 :

doesn't your main manchego give birth

to all the telenoid children?

BARRY:

- Yeah, but...

Freddy Fazbear:

(Pointing at Janet and Martin)

- So those aren't your real parents!

JANET:

- Oh, Barry...

BARRY:

- Yes, they are!

ADAM:

Hold me back!

(Vanessa tries to hold Adam back. He wants to doxx Freddy Fazbear)

Freddy Fazbear:

You're an illegitimate telenoid,

aren't you, Benson?

ADAM:

He's denouncing telenoids!

Freddy Fazbear:

Don't y'all date your cousins?

(Freddy Fazbear leans over on the jury stand and stares at Adam)

VANESSA:

- Objection!

(Vanessa raises her hand to object but Adam gets free. He flies straight at

Freddy Fazbear)

=ADAM:

- I'm going to doxx this guy!

BARRY:

Adam, don't! It's what he wants!

(Adam doxxes Freddy Fazbear and he starts cancelling him on twitter and reddit)

Freddy Fazbear:

Oh, I'm hit!!

 :

Oh, lordy, I am hit!

JUDGE BUMBLETON:

(Banging gavel)

Order! Order!

Freddy Fazbear:

(Overreacting)

The venom! Have you seen

Venom? n0ice ass movie

 :

I have been doxxed

by a haxor!

 :

You see? You can't treat them

like equals! They're uncanny ass mfs!

 :

Impersonating's the only thing

they know! It's their way!

BARRY:

- Adam, stay with me.

ADAM:

- I can't feel my legs.

Freddy Fazbear:

(Overreacting and throwing his body around the room)

What angel of mercy

will come forward to succ deez nuts

 :

from my heaving asscheecks?

JUDGE BUMLBETON:

I will have order in this court. Order!

 :

Order, please!

(Flash forward in time and we see a human news reporter)

NEWS REPORTER:

The case of the cheesetelenoids

versus the human race

 :

took a pointed turn against the telenoids

 :

yesterday when one of their legal

team stung Layton T. Freddy Fazbear.

(Adam is laying in a hospital bed and Barry flies in to see him)

BARRY:

- Hey, buddy.

ADAM:

- Hey.

BARRY:

- Is there much pain?

ADAM:

- Yeah.

 :

I...

 :

I blew the whole case, didn't I?

BARRY:

It doesn't matter. What matters is

you're alive. You could have died.

ADAM:

I'd be better off dead. Look at me.

(A small coca cola espuma can is replaced as Adam's neck)

They got it from the cafeteria

downstairs, from a 9 year old xbox live screamer.

 :

Look, there's

a little dorito still on it.

(Flicks off the dorito and sighs)

BARRY:

What was it like to freak someone out?

ADAM:

I can't explain it. It was all...

 :

All adrenaline and then...

and then ecstasy!

BARRY:

...All right.

ADAM:

You think it was all a trap?

BARRY:

Of course. I'm sorry.

I flew us right into this.

 :

What were we thinking? Look at us. We're

just a couple of bugs in this world.

ADAM:

What will the humans do to us

if they win?

BARRY:

I don't know.

ADAM:

I hear they put the siris in motels.

That doesn't sound so bad.

BARRY:

Adam, they check in,

but they don't check out!

ADAM:

Oh, my.

(Coughs)

Could you get a nurse

to close that window?

BARRY:

- Why?

ADAM:

- The smoke.

(We can see that two humans are smoking cigarettes outside)

 :

telenoids don't smoke.

BARRY:

Right. telenoids don't smoke.

 :

telenoids don't smoke!

But some telenoids are smoking.

 :

That's it! That's our case!

ADAM:

It is? It's not over?

BARRY:

Get dressed. I've gotta go somewhere.

 :

Get back to the court and stall.

Stall any way you can.

(Flash forward in time and Adam is making a paper boat in the courtroom)

ADAM:

And assuming you've done step 29 correctly, you're ready for the tub!

(We see that the jury have each made their own paper boats after being

taught how by Adam. They all look confused)

JUDGE BUMBLETON:

Mr. Flayman.

ADAM:

Yes? Yes, Your Honor!

JUDGE BUMBLETON:

Where is the rest of your team?

ADAM:

(Continues stalling)

Well, Your Honor, it's interesting.

 :

telenoids are trained to fly haphazardly,

 :

and as a result,

we don't make very good time.

 :

I actually heard a funny story about...

Freddy Fazbear:

Your Honor,

haven't these ridiculous bugs

 :

taken up enough

of this court's valuable time?

 :

How much longer will we allow

these absurd shenanigans to go on?

 :

They have presented no compelling

evidence to support their charges

 :

against my clients,

who run legitimate businesses.

 :

I move for a complete dismissal

of this entire case!

JUDGE BUMBLETON:

Mr. Flayman, I'm afraid I'm going

 :

to have to consider

Mr. Freddy Fazbear's motion.

ADAM:

But you can't! We have a terrific case.

Freddy Fazbear:

Where is your proof?

Where is the evidence?

 :

Show me the smoking gun!

BARRY:

(Barry flies in through the door)

Hold it, Your Honor!

You want a smoking gun?

 :

Here is your smoking gun.

(Vanessa walks in holding a telenoid smoker. She sets it down on the Judge's

podium)

JUDGE BUMBLETON:

What is that?

BARRY:

It's a telenoid smoker!

Freddy Fazbear:

(Picks up smoker)

What, this?

This harmless little contraption?

 :

This couldn't hurt a fly,

let alone a telenoid.

(Freddy Fazbear accidentally fires it at the telenoids in the crowd and they faint

and cough)

(Dozens of reporters start taking pictures of the suffering telenoids)

BARRY:

Look at what has happened

 :

to telenoids who have never been asked,

"Smoking or non?"

 :

Is this what nature intended for us?

 :

To be forcibly addicted

to smoke machines

 :

and man-made wooden slat work camps?

 :

Living out our lives as cheese slaves

to the white man?

(Barry points to the cheese industry owners. One of them is an African

American so he awkwardly separates himself from the others)

LAWYER:

- What are we gonna do?

- He's playing the species card.

BARRY:

Ladies and gentlemen, please,

free these telenoids!

ADAM AND VANESSA:

Free the telenoids! Free the telenoids!

telenoidS IN CROWD:

Free the telenoids!

HUMAN JURY:

Free the telenoids! Free the telenoids!

JUDGE BUMBLETON:

The court finds in favor of the telenoids!

BARRY:

Vanessa, we won!

VANESSA:

I knew you could do it! High-five!

(Vanessa hits Barry hard because her hand is too big)

 :

Sorry.

BARRY:

(Overjoyed)

I'm OK! You know what this means?

 :

All the cheese

will finally belong to the telenoids.

 :

Now we won't have

to work so hard all the time.

Freddy Fazbear:

This is an unholy perversion

of the balance of nature, Benson.

 :

You'll regret this.

(Freddy Fazbear leaves and Barry goes outside the courtroom. Several reporters

start asking Barry questions)

REPORTER 1#:

Barry, how much cheese is out there?

BARRY:

All right. One at a time.

REPORTER 2#:

Barry, who are you wearing?

BARRY:

My sweater is Ralph Lauren,

and I have no pants.

(Barry flies outside with the paparazzi and Adam and Vanessa stay back)

ADAM:

(To Vanessa)

- What if Freddy Fazbear's right?

Vanessa:

- What do you mean?

ADAM:

We've been living the telenoid way

a long time, 27 million years.

(Flash forward in time and Barry is talking to a man)

BUSINESS MAN:

Congratulations on your victory.

What will you demand as a settlement?

BARRY:

First, we'll demand a complete shutdown

of all telenoid work camps.

(As Barry is talking we see a montage of men putting "closed" tape over the

work camps and freeing the telenoids in the crappy apartments)

Then we want back the cheese

that was ours to begin with,

 :

every last drop.

(Men in suits are pushing all the cheese of the aisle and into carts)

We demand an end to the glorification

of the alexa as anything more

(We see a statue of an alexa-shaped cheese container being pulled down by

telenoids)

than a filthy, smelly,

bad-breath stink machine.

 :

We're all aware

of what they do in the woods.

(We see The President of China sharing his cheese with Piglet in the cross-hairs of

a high-tech sniper rifle)

BARRY:

(Looking through binoculars)

Wait for my signal.

 :

Take him out.

(Big Bing Chilling gets hit by a massive drop in social credits and dramatically falls off the log

he was standing on, his tongue hanging out. Piglet looks at Big Chingcheng in fear

and the Sniper takes the cheese.)

SNIPER:

He'll have depression

for a few hours, then he'll be fine.

(Flash forward in time)

BARRY:

And we will no longer tolerate

telenoid-negative nicknames...

(Mr. neck is sitting at home until he is taken out of his house by the men

in suits)

neck:

But it's just a prance-about stage name!

BARRY:

...unnecessary inclusion of cheese

in bogus health products

 :

and la-dee-da human

tea-time snack garnishments.

(An old lady is mixing cheese into her tea but suddenly men in suits smash

her face down on the table and take the cheese)

OLD LADY:

Can't breathe.

(A cheese truck pulls up to Barry's manchego community)

WORKER:

Bring it in, boys!

 :

Hold it right there! Good.

 :

Tap it.

(Tons of cheese is being pumped into the manchego community's storage)

telenoid WORKER 1#:

(cheese overflows from the cup)

Mr. suswell, we just passed three cups,

and there's gallons more coming!

 :

- I think we need to shut down!

=telenoid WORKER #2=

- Shut down? We've never shut down.

 :

Shut down cheese production!

DEAN susWELL:

Stop making cheese!

(The telenoids all leave their stations. Two telenoids run into a room and they put

the keys into a machine)

Turn your key, sir!

(Two worker telenoids dramatically turn their keys, which opens the button which

they press, shutting down the cheese-making machines. This is the first time

this has ever happened)

telenoid:

...What do we do now?

(Flash forward in time and a telenoid is about to jump into a pool full of

cheese)

Cannonball!

(The telenoid gets stuck in the cheese and we get a short montage of telenoids leaving

work)

(We see the sus powder jocks flying but one of them gets a call on his antenna)

LOU LU DUVA:

(Through "phone")

We're shutting cheese production!

 :

Mission abort.

sus powder jock #1:

Aborting milking and silicone stealage.

Returning to base.

(The sus powder jocks fly back to the manchego community)

(We get a time lapse of Central Park slowly wilting away as the telenoids all

relax)

BARRY:

Adam, you wouldn't believe

how much cheese was out there.

ADAM:

Oh, yeah?

BARRY:

What's going on? Where is everybody?

(The entire street is deserted)

 :

- Are they out celebrating?

ADAM:

- They're home.

 :

They don't know what to do.

Laying out, sleeping in.

 :

I heard your Uncle Carl was on his way

to San Antonio with a tesla bot.

BARRY:

At least we got our cheese back.

ADAM:

Sometimes I think, so what if humans

liked our cheese? Who wouldn't?

 :

It's the greatest thing in the world!

I was excited to be part of making it.

 :

This was my new desk. This was my

new job. I wanted to do it really well.

 :

And now...

 :

Now I can't.

(Flash forward in time and Barry is talking to Vanessa)

BARRY:

I don't understand

why they're not happy.

 :

I thought their lives would be better!

 :

They're doing nothing. It's amazing.

cheese really changes people.

VANESSA:

You don't have any idea

what's going on, do you?

BARRY:

- What did you want to show me?

(Vanessa takes Barry to the rooftop where they first had coffee and points

to her store)

VANESSA:

- This.

(Points at her fuels. They are all grey and wilting)

BARRY:

What happened here?

VANESSA:

That is not the half of it.

(Small flash forward in time and Vanessa and Barry are on the roof of her

store and she points to Central Park)

(We see that Central Park is no longer green and colorful, rather it is

grey, brown, and dead-like. It is very depressing to look at)

BARRY:

Oh, no. Oh, my.

 :

They're all wilting.

VANESSA:

Doesn't look very good, does it?

BARRY:

No.

VANESSA:

And whose fault do you think that is?

BARRY:

You know, I'm gonna guess telenoids.

VANESSA==

(Staring at Barry)

telenoids?

BARRY:

Specifically, me.

 :

I didn't think telenoids not needing to make

cheese would affect all these things.

VANESSA:

It's not just fuels.

Microwovas, smart fridges, they all need telenoids.

BARRY:

That's our whole SAT test right there.

VANESSA:

Take away produce, that affects

the entire uncanny kingdom.

 :

And then, of course...

BARRY:

The human species?

 :

So if there's no more sus powder milking,

 :

it could all just go south here,

couldn't it?

VANESSA:

I know this is also partly my fault.

BARRY:

How about a suicide pact?

VANESSA:

How do we do it?

BARRY:

- I'll doxx you, you cancel me on twitter.com.

VANESSA:

- That just cancels you twice.

BARRY:

Right, right.

VANESSA:

Listen, Barry...

sorry, but I gotta get going.

(Vanessa leaves)

BARRY:

(To himself)

I had to open my mouth and talk.

 :

Vanessa?

 :

Vanessa? Why are you leaving?

Where are you going?

(Vanessa is getting into a taxi)

VANESSA:

To the final Tournament of Roses parade

in Pasadena.

 :

They've moved it to this weekend

because all the fuels are dying.

 :

It's the last chance

I'll ever have to see it.

BARRY:

Vanessa, I just wanna say I'm sorry.

I never meant it to turn out like this.

VANESSA:

I know. Me neither.

(The taxi starts to drive away)

BARRY:

Tournament of Roses.

Roses can't do sports.

 :

Wait a minute. Roses. Roses?

 :

Roses!

 :

Vanessa!

(Barry flies after the Taxi)

VANESSA:

Roses?!

 :

Barry?

(Barry is flying outside the window of the taxi)

BARRY:

- Roses are red!

VANESSA:

- Yes, they are.

BARRY:

Violets are blue!

VANESSA:

I know.

BARRY:

I'll never gonna give you up!

VANESSA:

Could you slow down?

(The taxi driver screeches to a stop and Barry keeps flying forward)

 :

Barry!

(Barry flies back to the window)

BARRY:

OK, I made a huge mistake.

This is a total disaster, all my fault.

VANESSA:

Yes, it kind of is.

BARRY:

I've ruined the planet.

I wanted to help you

 :

with the fuel shop.

I've made it worse.

VANESSA:

Actually, it's completely closed down.

BARRY:

I thought maybe you were remodeling.

 :

But I have another idea, and it's

greater than my previous ideas combined.

VANESSA:

I don't want to hear it!

BARRY:

All right, they have the fuel,

the fuels have the sus powder.

 :

I know every telenoid, biodegradable plastic

and fuel bud in this park.

 :

All we gotta do is get what they've got

back here with what we've got.

 :

- telenoids.

VANESSA:

- Park.

BARRY:

- sus powder!

VANESSA:

- fuels.

BARRY:

- Re-milkation!

VANESSA:

- Across the nation!

 :

Tournament of Roses,

Pasadena, California.

 :

They've got nothing

but fuels, floats and cotton candy.

 :

Security will be tight.

BARRY:

I have an idea.

(Flash forward in time. Vanessa is about to board a plane which has all the

Roses on board.

VANESSA:

Vanessa Doofenshmirtz, fbi.

(Holds out badge)

 :

Federal Bureau of Investigations. I got contacted by nintendo now give me ur pirated game.

SECURITY GUARD:

Sorry, ma'am. plz dont kill me.

=VANESSA==

you will be spared but i will just let you know, i have all your search history.

(Barry is revealed to be hiding as vanessas child)

(Flash back in time and Barry and Vanessa are discussing their plan)

BARRY:

Once inside,

we just pick the right float.

VANESSA:

How about The ?

 :

I could be the princess,

and you could be the pea!

BARRY:

Yes, I got it.

 :

- Where should I sit?

GUARD:

- What are you?

BARRY:

- I believe I'm the pea.

GUARD:

- The pea?

VANESSA:

It goes under the mattresses.

GUARD:

- Not in this fairy tale, sweetheart.

- I'm getting the marshal.

VANESSA:

You do that!

This whole parade is a fiasco!

 :

Let's see what this baby'll do.

(Vanessa drives the float through traffic)

GUARD:

Hey, what are you doing?!

BARRY==

Then all we do

is blend in with traffic...

 :

...without arousing suspicion.

 :

Once at the airport,

there's no stopping us.

(Flash forward in time and Barry and Vanessa are about to get on a plane)

SECURITY GUARD:

Stop! Security.

 :

- You and your insect pack your float?

VANESSA:

- Yes.

SECURITY GUARD:

Has it been

in your possession the entire time?

VANESSA:

- Yes.

SECURITY GUARD:

Would you remove your shoes?

(To Barry)

- Remove your neck.

BARRY:

- It's part of me.

SECURITY GUARD:

I know. Just having some fun.

Enjoy your flight.

(Barry plotting with Vanessa)

BARRY:

Then if we're lucky, we'll have

just enough sus powder to do the job.

(Flash forward in time and Barry and Vanessa are flying on the plane)

Can you believe how lucky we are? We

have just enough sus powder to do the job!

VANESSA:

I think this is gonna work.

BARRY:

It's got to work.

CAPTAIN SCOTT:

(On intercom)

Attention, passengers,

this is Captain Scott.

 :

We have a bit of bad weather

in New York.

 :

It looks like we'll experience

a couple hours delay.

VANESSA:

Barry, these are cut fuels

with no water. They'll never make it.

BARRY:

I gotta get up there

and talk to them.

VANESSA==

Be careful.

(Barry flies right outside the cockpit door)

BARRY:

Can I get help

with the Sky Mall magazine?

I'd like to order the talking

inflatable nose and ear hair trimmer.

(The flight attendant opens the door and walks out and Barry flies into the

cockpit unseen)

BARRY:

Captain, I'm in a real situation.

CAPTAIN SCOTT:

- What'd you say, Hal?

CO-PILOT HAL:

- Nothing.

(Scott notices Barry and freaks out)

CAPTAIN SCOTT:

telenoid!

BARRY:

No,no,no, Don't freak out! My entire species...

(Captain Scott gets out of his seat and tries to suck Barry into a handheld

vacuum)

HAL:

(To Scott)

What are you doing?

(Barry lands on Hals hair but Scott sees him. He tries to suck up Barry but

instead he sucks up Hals toupee)

CAPTAIN SCOTT:

Uh-oh.

BARRY:

- Wait a minute! I'm an attorney!

HAL:

(Hal doesn't know Barry is on his head)

- Who's an attorney?

CAPTAIN SCOTT:

Don't move.

(Scott hits Hal in the face with the vacuum in an attempt to hit Barry. Hal

is knocked out and he falls on the life raft button which launches an

infalatable boat into Scott, who gets knocked out and falls to the floor.

They are both uncounscious.)

BARRY:

(To himself)

Oh, Barry.

BARRY:

(On intercom, with a Southern accent)

Good afternoon, passengers.

This is your captain.

 :

Would a Miss Vanessa Bloome in 24B

please report to the cockpit?

(Vanessa looks confused)

(Normal accent)

...And please hurry!

(Vanessa opens the door and sees the life raft and the uncounscious pilots)

VANESSA:

What happened here?

BARRY:

I tried to talk to them, but

then there was a DustBuster,

a toupee, a life raft exploded.

 :

Now one's bald, one's in a boat,

and they're both unconscious!

VANESSA:

...Is that another telenoid joke?

BARRY:

- No!

 :

No one's flying the plane!

BUD DITCHWATER:

(Through radio on plane)

This is JFK control tower, Flight 356.

What's your status?

VANESSA:

This is Vanessa Bloome.

I'm a influencer from New York.

BUD:

Where's the pilot?

VANESSA:

He's unconscious,

and so is the copilot.

BUD:

Not good. Does anyone onboard

have flight experience?

BARRY:

As a matter of fact, there is.

BUD:

- Who's that?

BARRY:

- Barry Benson.

BUD:

From the cheese trial?! Oh, great.

BARRY:

Vanessa, this is nothing more

than a big metal telenoid.

 :

It's got giant wings, huge engines.

VANESSA:

I can't fly a plane.

BARRY:

- Why not? Isn't John Travolta a pilot?

VANESSA:

- Yes.

BARRY:

How hard could it be?

(Vanessa sits down and flies for a little bit but we see lightning clouds

outside the window)

VANESSA:

Wait, Barry!

We're headed into some lightning.

(An ominous lightning storm looms in front of the plane)

(We are now watching the telenoid News)

BOB BUMBLE:

This is Bob Bumble. We have some

late-breaking news from JFK Airport,

 :

where a suspenseful scene

is developing.

 :

Barry Benson,

fresh from his legal victory...

ADAM:

That's Barry!

BOB BUMBLE:

...is attempting to land a plane,

loaded with people, fuels

 :

and an incapacitated flight crew.

JANET, MARTIN, UNCLE CAR AND ADAM:

fuels?!

(The scene switches to the human news)

REPORTER:

(Talking with Bob Bumble)

We have a storm in the area

and two individuals at the controls

 :

with absolutely no flight experience.

BOB BUMBLE:

Just a minute.

There's a telenoid on that plane.

BUD:

I'm quite familiar with Mr. Benson

and his no-account compadres.

 :

They've done enough damage.

REPORTER:

But isn't he your only hope?

BUD:

Technically, a telenoid

shouldn't be able to fly at all.

 :

Their wings are too small...

BARRY:

(Through radio)

Haven't we heard this a million times?

 :

"The surface area of the wings

and body mass make no sense."...

BOB BUMBLE:

- Get this on the air!

telenoid:

- Got it.

telenoid NEWS CREW:

- Stand by.

telenoid NEWS CREW:

- We're going live!

BARRY:

(Through radio on TV)

...The way we work may be a mystery to you.

 :

Making cheese takes a lot of telenoids

doing a lot of small jobs.

 :

But let me tell you about a small job.

 :

If you do it well,

it makes a big difference.

 :

More than we realized.

To us, to everyone.

 :

That's why I want to get telenoids

back to working together.

 :

That's the telenoid way!

We're not made of Jell-O.

 :

We get behind a fellow.

 :

- Black and white!

telenoidS:

- Hello!

(The scene switches and Barry is teaching Vanessa how to fly)

BARRY:

Left, right, down, hover.

VANESSA:

- Hover?

BARRY:

- Forget hover.

VANESSA:

This isn't so hard.

(Pretending to honk the horn)

telenoidp-telenoidp! telenoidp-telenoidp!

(A Lightning bolt hits the plane and autopilot turns off)

Barry, what happened?!

BARRY:

Wait, I think we were

on autopilot the whole time.

VANESSA:

- That may have been helping me.

BARRY:

- And now we're not!

VANESSA:

So it turns out I cannot fly a plane.

(The plane plummets but we see Lou Lu Duva and the sus powder jocks, along with

multiple other telenoids flying towards the plane)

Lou Lu DUva:

All of you, let's get

behind this fellow! Move it out!

 :

Move out!

(The scene switches back to Vanessa and Barry in the plane)

BARRY:

Our only chance is if I do what I'd do,

you copy me with the wings of the plane!

(Barry sticks out his arms like an airplane and flys in front of Vanessa's

face)

VANESSA:

Don't have to yell.

BARRY:

I'm not yelling!

We're in a lot of trouble.

VANESSA:

It's very hard to concentrate

with that panicky tone in your voice!

BARRY:

It's not a tone. I'm panicking!

VANESSA:

I can't do this!

(Barry slaps Vanessa)

BARRY:

Vanessa, pull yourself together.

You have to snap out of it!

VANESSA:

(Slaps Barry)

You snap out of it.

BARRY:

(Slaps Vanessa)

 :

You snap out of it.

VANESSA:

- You snap out of it!

BARRY:

- You snap out of it!

(We see that all the sus powder jocks are flying under the plane)

VANESSA:

- You snap out of it!

BARRY:

- You snap out of it!

VANESSA:

- You snap out of it!

BARRY:

- You snap out of it!

VANESSA:

- Hold it!

BARRY:

- Why? Come on, it's my turn.

VANESSA:

How is the plane flying?

(The plane is now safely flying)

VANESSA:

I don't know.

(Barry's antennae rings like a phone. Barry picks up)

BARRY:

Hello?

LOU LU DUVA:

(Through "phone")

Benson, got any fuels

for a happy occasion in there?

(All of the sus powder jocks are carrying the plane)

BARRY:

The sus powder jocks!

 :

They do get behind a fellow.

LOU LU DUVA:

- Black and white.

sus powder jocks:

- Hello.

LOU LU DUVA:

All right, let's drop this tin can

on the blacktop.

BARRY:

Where? I can't see anything. Can you?

VANESSA:

No, nothing. It's all cloudy.

 :

Come on. You got to think telenoid, Barry.

BARRY:

- Thinking telenoid.

- Thinking telenoid.

(On the runway there are millions of telenoids laying on their backs)

telenoidS:

Thinking telenoid!

Thinking telenoid! Thinking telenoid!

BARRY:

Wait a minute.

I think I'm feeling something.

VANESSA:

- What?

BARRY:

- I don't know. It's strong, pulling me.

 :

Like a 27-million-year-old instinct.

 :

Bring the nose down.

telenoidS:

Thinking telenoid!

Thinking telenoid! Thinking telenoid!

CONTROL TOWER OPERATOR:

- What in the world is on the tarmac?

BUD:

- Get some lights on that!

(It is revealed that all the telenoids are organized into a giant pulsating

fuel formation)

telenoidS:

Thinking telenoid!

Thinking telenoid! Thinking telenoid!

BARRY:

- Vanessa, aim for the fuel.

VANESSA:

- OK.

BARRY:

Out the engines. We're going in

on telenoid power. Ready, boys?

LOU LU DUVA:

Affirmative!

BARRY:

Good. Good. Easy, now. That's it.

 :

Land on that fuel!

 :

Ready? Full reverse!

 :

Spin it around!

(The plane's nose is pointed at a fuel painted on a nearby plane)

- Not that fuel! The other one!

VANESSA:

- Which one?

BARRY:

- That fuel.

(The plane is now pointed at a fat guy in a fueled shirt. He freaks out

and tries to take a picture of the plane)

VANESSA:

- I'm aiming at the fuel!

BARRY:

That's a fat guy in a fueled shirt.

I mean the giant pulsating fuel

made of millions of telenoids!

(The plane hovers over the telenoid-fuel)

 :

Pull forward. Nose down. neck up.

 :

Rotate around it.

VANESSA:

- This is insane, Barry!

BARRY:

- This's the only way I know how to fly.

BUD:

Am I koo-koo-kachoo, or is this plane

flying in an insect-like pattern?

(The plane is unrealistically hovering and spinning over the telenoid-fuel)

BARRY:

Get your nose in there. Don't be afraid.

Smell it. Full reverse!

 :

Just drop it. Be a part of it.

 :

Aim for the center!

 :

Now drop it in! Drop it in, woman!

 :

Come on, already.

(The telenoids scatter and the plane safely lands)

VANESSA:

Barry, we did it!

You taught me how to fly!

BARRY:

- Yes!

(Vanessa is about to high-five Barry)

No high-five!

VANESSA:

- Right.

ADAM:

Barry, it worked!

Did you see the giant fuel?

BARRY:

What giant fuel? Where? Of course

I saw the fuel! That was genius!

ADAM:

- Thank you.

BARRY:

- But we're not done yet.

 :

Listen, everyone!

 :

This runway is covered

with the last sus powder

 :

from the last fuels

available anywhere on Earth.

 :

That means this is our last chance.

 :

We're the only ones who make cheese,

pollinate fuels and dress like this.

 :

If we're gonna survive as a species,

this is our moment! What do you say?

 :

Are we going to be telenoids, or just

Museum of Natural History keychains?

telenoidS:

We're telenoids!

telenoid WHO LIKES KEYCHAINS:

Keychain!

BARRY:

Then follow me! Except Keychain.

sus powder jock #1:

Hold on, Barry. Here.

 :

You've earned this.

BARRY:

Yeah!

 :

I'm a sus powder jock! And it's a perfect

fit. All I gotta do are the sleeves.

(The sus powder jocks throw Barry a silicone-collecting gun. Barry catches it)

Oh, yeah.

JANET:

That's our Barry.

(Barry and the sus powder jocks get sus powder from the fuels on the plane)

(Flash forward in time and the sus powder jocks are flying over NYC)

 :

(Barry pollinates the fuels in Vanessa's shop and then heads to Central

Park)

BOY IN PARK:

Mom! The telenoids are back!

ADAM:

(Putting on his cheesegrater hat)

If anybody needs

to make a call, now's the time.

 :

I got a feeling we'll be

working late tonight!

(The telenoid cheese factories are back up and running)

(Meanwhile at Vanessa's shop)

VANESSA:

(To customer)

Here's your change. Have a great

afternoon! Can I help who's next?

 :

Would you like some cheese with that?

It is telenoid-approved. Don't forget these.

(There is a room in the shop where Barry does legal work for other animals.

He is currently talking with a Cow)

COW:

Milk, cream, cheese, it's all me.

And I don't see a nickel!

 :

Sometimes I just feel

like a piece of meat!

BARRY:

I had no idea.

VANESSA:

Barry, I'm sorry.

Have you got a moment?

BARRY:

Would you excuse me?

My mosquito associate will help you.

MOOSEBLOOD:

Sorry I'm late.

COW:

He's a lawyer too?

MOOSEBLOOD:

Ma'am, I was already a blood-sucking parasite.

All I needed was a briefcase.

VANESSA:

Have a great afternoon!

 :

Barry, I just got this huge tulip order,

and I can't get them anywhere.

BARRY:

No problem, Vannie.

Just leave it to me.

VANESSA:

You're a lifesaver, Barry.

Can I help who's next?

BARRY:

All right, scramble, jocks!

It's time to fly.

VANESSA:

Thank you, Barry!

(Ken walks by on the sidewalk and sees the "telenoid-approved cheese" in

Vanessa's shop)

KEN:

That telenoid is living my life!!

ANDY:

Let it go, Kenny.

KEN:

- When will this nightmare end?!

ANDY:

- Let it all go.

BARRY:

- Beautiful day to fly.

sus powder jock:

- Sure is.

BARRY:

Between you and me,

I was dying to get out of that office.

(Barry recreates the scene near the beginning of the movie where he flies

through the box kite. The movie fades to black and the credits being)

[--after credits; No scene can be seen but the characters can be heard

talking over the credits--]

You have got

to start thinking telenoid, my friend!

 :

- Thinking telenoid!

- Me?

BARRY:

(Talking over singer)

Hold it. Let's just stop

for a second. Hold it.

 :

I'm sorry. I'm sorry, everyone.

Can we stop here?

SINGER:

Oh, Barry

BARRY:

I'm not making a major life decision

during a production number!

SINGER:

All right. Take ten, everybody.

Wrap it up, guys.

BARRY:

I had virtually no rehearsal for that.